Taking risks and branching out is difficult for many, and unfortunately, students today don’t do it nearly as much as they should. Often, many choose social comfort over the potential reward of finding a new person, group, or activity to be involved in.
According to an Inside Higher Ed article titled “Getting More Students Involved” by Colleen Flaherty, students feel “adrift and isolated” on their college campuses.
“Crucially, spending time weekly on extracurriculars and campus events is correlated with increased satisfaction on engagement in campus life. And uninvolved students— those who spend zero hours per week on extracurriculars and campus events— are disproportionately dissatisfied with their campus engagement,” Flaherty said.
Over the last week, I sat down with multiple students on campus, at random, to practice socializing with strangers. My results proved to me that many of us have much in common, but are often none the wiser because we lack bold socialization.
I ate lunch, at random, with first-year student Tommy Chance. As our conversation progressed, I learned we both share a love for sports and music.
“Sports, music, I love cars, anything to do with mechanical,” Chance said.
Similarly, when talking to Ellie Sinclair, I learned she’s faced several social obstacles she has had to overcome since coming to California Lutheran University.
“I’m originally from Taiwan, so this is my first year living in California, so it’s been a big change,” Sinclair said.
Every person I talked to had a story. It’s easy to forget that those we walk by on the sidewalks are all living their own lives in their groups.
It’s easier said than done, though. I struggled to find the courage to approach people sitting alone in the cafeteria or after class. Most of those I talked to said it’s been a challenge for them as well.
“It’s pretty rare. I don’t think I would necessarily go out of my way to meet a stranger,” Chance said. Every now and then I think it’s good to go out there and talk to somebody.”
According to Flaherty, there is a direct correlation between time spent on extracurriculars and campus events with the ease of building new connections. For those I spoke to, these relationships are highly valuable whether it’s a friend, professional connection, or just a friendly face on campus.
“I’m trying to build any connection that I can because at the end of the day, you have no idea who’s gonna be there for you when you need it,” sophomore Alan Castillo said.
For junior Michael Richardson, learning about new perspectives and beliefs one wouldn’t normally hear is another reason to get involved.
“You learn more about other people and you kind of see the different varieties of how people think and what they believe in,” Richardson said.
All the students I spoke with shared stories of how connections were made and relationships were built when they least expected it. Castillo said that a simple question to a new classmate about his outfit promoted a meaningful friendship.
“Now we’re best friends. We’re texting each other every day. We’re going to go see a concert next week together. Something I never would have guessed just looking at that guy and if I’d never had asked him the question…It never would have happened,” Castillo said.
Despite being uncomfortable, those who pursue social opportunities are more likely to be socially satisfied, according to Flaherty. After sitting through conversations with other students, I believe this is true.
Even though it can be difficult or uncomfortable, socializing can help an individual meet new friends, be comfortable in their environment, and learn new aspects about themselves and those around them. It makes them confident communicators.
“It’s never easy, even when you think it’s gonna be easy,” Castillo said.
My plea to all students is to be bold, branch out, and take a risk. You never know what friendship or lifelong connection it may lead to.
