California Lutheran University's Student Newspaper Since 1961

The Echo

California Lutheran University's Student Newspaper Since 1961

The Echo

California Lutheran University's Student Newspaper Since 1961

The Echo

    The Gray Area Of Hooking Up

    There are ridiculous double standards in our hookup culture. Feelings are not separate from a hook up so treat people nicely.  

    As Valentine’s Day approaches, people start questioning their relationships with others; especially the people they’re hooking up with. Are we exclusive? Are we seeing other people? Does he or she like me?

    Today’s college hookup scene is blurring the lines of what a relationship is. It has a negative effect on this generation.

    According to the Huffington Post article “‘Hooking Up’ — What Does It Really Mean?” hooking up is defined by young adults as “certain sexual acts between two people who are not dating or in a serious relationship and do not expect anything further.”

    I believe that in most circumstances, at least one person in a hookup relationship eventually wants something more. The hookup culture is blurring the lines of what a relationship is by causing people to act like a couple sexually, yet they remain uncommitted to each other.

    “One of the more common ‘rules’ for hookups is to make sure the other person knows that you don’t currently want a relationship, and to avoid making any sort of relationship-like plans with them”, Interpersonal Communications Professor Monica Gracyalny said in an email interview.

    In many cases, that communication is not present and so many people are left confused as to what their relationship is.

    “Most of my clients that come in having relationship problems are girls in their 20s who want to be committed to a guy who is not interested in the same thing. Sometimes they just can’t tell what the nature of their relationship is, though. This really affects their self-esteem,” said Nancy Arkin, a private practice psychologist in Woodland Hills.

    I could never come to terms with the fact that a guy who I had great chemistry with could want me, but also could not commit just because he wanted to hook up with another girl.

    In a perfect world, this specific guy would have thought that I was good enough for him, but that just wasn’t realistic because of how our generation is structured. We’re always wanting more.

    Although I met his friends and slept at his house all the time, this guy just didn’t want anything more than a hookup. Not a friendship, not a relationship, just a hookup.

    To all the guys and girls reading this, have respect for the people you talk to, hook up with, or date, because people do have feelings.

    The hookup culture around campus has also caused students to be completely disrespectful toward each other, and that’s exactly why I am addressing the topic that no one dares to talk about.

    There is an obvious double standard for girls and guys. Guys are praised for hooking up with a ton of girls, yet girls are called sluts for doing the same.

    I hear guys talking about how many girls they’ve slept with, and they are proud as can be. The most absurd double standard is when a guy thinks it’s legendary to have sex with a lot of girls. To me, that is not legendary. Having respect for the girl you’re sleeping with is the definition of being a decent human being.

    As for the girls on campus, I have listened to you talk about what a guy buys you or how much he spent on dinner, and honestly, that is not impressive. We use each other for our own benefits until we find something better.

    We’re in college now, and I think that we should communicate with each other, and not be embarrassed to actually have feelings for someone. We should adjust those lines of acting like a couple, yet being too scared to commit to someone.

    Dakota Himmelman
    Staff Writer