Watching sports is as American as it gets. It’s an excuse to hang out, enjoy each others’ time and be social. If you’re into sports, there’s nothing better than settling down after a long day with your crew and putting on a game.
If you want it to be worthwhile, however, it takes hard work. Not all sports fans are created equal. It takes quality judgment to put together a good group to watch a game with. Certain types of people can make your sports-watching experience a negative one. You must choose wisely. Some sports fans you’ll want to avoid, and it’s important to know what to do if you encounter one.
The Armchair Athlete
This is the person watching the game who critiques the players’ antics far too drastically. This guy firmly believes he could do a better job than any of the athletes participating in the event he’s watching. The armchair athlete likes to tell you about his glorified high school days when he made all-league as an honorable mention in the subpar county he’s from. Sure, armchair athletes would be helpful for your intramural team, but they are a headache to watch sports with. They also use Facebook and Twitter to rant about how badly somebody played. A simple indicator of an armchair athlete is if he talks more about himself during the game than he does about the teams on the screen.
The Die-Hard Biased Fan
These fans believe that their beloved team is the gift to the world, and every other team is dirt. When watching a game with the die-hard biased fan you’ll be told the opposing team is full of losers. When an opposing team does well, it’s a cardinal sin. You’ll know right away, too. This person dislikes opposing teams more than he likes his own team. He also is normally very loud and obnoxious. This fan lives vicariously through his team. If their team loses, their whole day is ruined. You also do not want to be around this person when his team does well, because you will never hear the end of it.
The Bandwagon Fan
There are two types of bandwagon fans. First, is the fan who doesn’t really know what’s going on but likes the team for reasons that are probably not sport-related. You respect these fans for trying to understand what’s going on, but you’ll be easily annoyed by the dumb questions. This is the person that you have to explain to what happened on a certain play more than five times a game. They’re pretty harmless in the big scheme of things, though.
There’s also the type of bandwagon fan that thinks they know everything, but doesn’t. These are the ones to watch out for. You’ll know right away when they say their football team has 24 runs, instead of points, for example.
If you are stuck with one of these fans, you must improvise to make sure you don’t completely lose your mind. If the armchair athlete won’t stop talking about how his fastball is better than the pitcher is on the TV, simply ask him why he’s on the couch while the other guy is pitching in the MLB.
The die-hard, biased fan may get way too intense when his team beats yours. If this happens, let them have their 10 minutes of glory, but realize that the game is not relevant and doesn’t truly affect your life. Make a mental note that in 10 years, you will most likely have a good job and will be successful, while the die-hard, biased fan will probably be living with his parents and blowing all his money on being a season ticketholder.
If you have a run-in with a fan on the bandwagon, casually quiz him about the team he supposedly loves. That will shut them up.
I hope this helps all of my readers out. Happy sports-watching.
Nick DeLorenzo
Staff Writer
Published April 17, 2013
